In response to my earlier blog about men who fear commitment/women who are addicted to commitment, several women pointed out that it's often the man who wants commitment when all the woman is looking for is a good time – or at least a sane time. This brings us to “The Nice Guy."
The Nice Guy just wants to find a woman who isn't afraid of opening her heart, a woman who is willing to give him a chance, a woman who will love like she's never been hurt. Sure, she's been hurt before, but that's because she's always dating Assholes. He'll be different. He's a Nice Guy. But she won't give him a chance, because women don't like Nice Guys.
Bullshit.
You're nice, but you're also a needy, clingy, spineless sycophant. "Nice" isn't the reason they won't sleep with you, "nice" is the excuse they give for not sleeping with you. The truth is, you're a boring, bland dud… who is ALSO a nice guy. It's not the "nice" part of that equation that's keeping you lonely. You’re quiet and unassuming, but only because you have nothing to say – you’re like a walking parenthetical with nothing between the parentheses.
And the main reason you are so nice is because it's the only way you can get people to hang out with you. Because you're boring. Stop offering to drive people to the airport and start reading books so you have something to talk about. Stop being a shoulder to cry on, and start being hands that cook and feet that dance and legs that bike and eyes that hunger and a heart that seeks.
Just because you lack negatives, that doesn’t make you a positive. It just makes you a zero. You gotta earn it.
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