Do men fear commitment?

Why do some men fear commitment? Because some women are ADDICTED to commitment. For every man who irrationally runs away from even the slightest-chance-of-emotional-connection there's a woman who grabs the slightest-chance-of-emotional-connection and loves it and hugs it and squeezes it and chains it to an engine block in her basement and feeds it scraps through a hole in the floor.

"Why won't you give me just a little commitment!?" Well, for the same reason I wouldn't give an alcoholic "just a little taste" of my beer. Feed a table scrap to a puppy, it wags its tail. Feed a table scrap to a lion, it eats your arm.

I set my standards high, because I've learned that the alternative risks me falling into emotional slavery - in my 20s I was all about "ooooo, how can I get into her pants" but now I realize that it's usually a lot easier to get into someone's pants than to get back out. You have to have an exit strategy...

That's what women's underwear have in common with Middle Eastern wars – you have to have an exit strategy. Otherwise you find yourself 5 years later going "What the hell am I still doing here?!?! I thought this was going to be a weekend thing, get in-get out. I did not sign up for all this… this shit is costing me a fortune. I so should have pulled-out before I surged – now I'm committed."

I realize this phenomenon is not gender specific, there are plenty of lost men out there who have a HOWLING emptiness that they think can only be filled by feeling needed - they want to be your saviour, without noticing you don't need a fucking saviour. The kind of man whose idea of a great second date is type-matching his organs so he can offer you a kidney if you ever need one. The "too-much, too-soon" creepy guys. "Hey, it's Dave, just wanted to say hi and tell you I really enjoyed our first date. Not sure when you'll get this voice mail so I'll also text you. And e-mail. And send you a message on MySpace and Facebook. And leave a note on your car. And in the bottom of your favorite cereal bowl. Oh, and I'll tell your mom you said hi."

The worst is when the needy, neurotic man starts to date an equally needy, neurotic woman. That's the kind of relationship where the "I love you more – no, I love you more" argument ends in a fist-fight and a knifing. "If you really loved me you would not be bleeding on me right now!"