MySpace interpreted

“I hate drama!” = I am a self-centered, inconsiderate person with a habit of screwing over my friends. When they choose to confront me about this, I choose to call that “drama”. The reason I’m so sick and tired of drama is because I create so damn much of it.

“Life is not measured by the breaths you take but by the moments that take your breath away.” = Not only am I wholly unoriginal, but chances are I’ll make you read my bad poetry.

“love like you’ve never been hurt, dance like no one is watching” = Not only am I wholly unoriginal (again) but by the third date I’m usually occupying one of his dresser drawers and two of his bathroom shelves.

“Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll – I was born to party!” = Proud Parent

“Love me or hate me, either way you’re going to be thinking about me!” = You will hate me. Most people do.

“I like all kinds of music”= I like all kinds of shitty, derivative music.

A Marilyn Monroe quote= I’ve never actually seen a Marilyn Monroe movie

A Paris Hilton quote = I’m just like Paris Hilton, but unfortunately I have yet to realize that being a proudly ignorant whorebag is only a workable lifestyle when you have your family’s billions to fall back on.

“I ain’t lookin for no playaz!!” = I have always been tricked by players. I will always be tricked by players.

“Some people don’t get my sarcasm” = I don’t realize there’s a difference between being sarcastic, and being a bitch.

“I’m the coolest mom on the block!” = “Why doesn’t Jenny’s mommy sleep fully clothed in a puddle of her own urine like you do three nights a week mommy?”

“I want to meet one man who can prove that all men aren’t the same” = The reason I think all men are assholes is because I keep dating assholes. Men don’t suck – my taste in men sucks.